Category: LGBTQ

Pride at Summer Solstice

My Regular Pagan Holiday Greeting: Litha

Reclaiming Ritual

Can we remake religious rituals into traditions that are free from religion? In her book, The Wonder Paradox, Jennifer Michael Hecht answers with a resounding Yes! And she shows us how. 

Hecht posits that humans need tradition and ritual in our lives, but that there is no reason to attach these practices to church, which she aptly calls “drop by and lie.” I do love that she is a fellow atheist, but anyone, religious or not, can make use of her ritual adaptations that are more appropriate to modern life. She says everything is secular, including religion—a human invention after all. Hecht makes the case for incorporating poetry into newly imagined rituals. Reading this book and listening to an interview with her has renewed my own path to inventing new rituals. 

We humans need ritual to mark births and deaths, but we can make our own or incorporate those of other cultures. My friend Ruth, a new grandmother, told me her Hindu relatives have rituals for everything, including the baby’s first haircut. She is not Hindu but she is invited and delighted to participate in them all.

When the news gets us down or is cause for celebration, we can create our own ceremonies. A friend posted “Happy arraignment eve to all who celebrate” and another commented, “I’m looking forward to the high holy days of conviction and sentencing.” (Me too!)

In these pagan holiday posts, I have been using the Wheel of the Year to think about the wheel of life. A combination of ancient and new tradition, the Wheel of the Year acknowledges the summer and winter solstices, the spring and fall equinoxes and the four cross quarter holidays in between. It’s a good way to notice the changing of the seasons and to feel closer to the earth and all its inhabitants.

Summer solstice is a gay holiday

Just as the whole alphabet of queer folks have become pariahs around the world, our invention of Gay Pride Day and Gay Month have become universal markers of summer solstice (winter solstice in the southern hemisphere). For most of my adult life I’ve been celebrating the summer solstice at Gay Pride Day. Taking place in cities and towns around the world, mostly in June, Pride is both a protest and a party. 

In San Francisco, Pride is huge, taking over the whole city for the month. In New York City, activists have split from the old corporate sponsored pride parade to form a new protest march. In LA, the parade turned into a music festival and has also split in two. 

I say it’s all for the good. Why not have Pride celebrations in every town and city and neighborhood. As Sonoma County celebrated its 38th year of Pride, other small towns around the Bay now sponsor their own Pride celebrations.

So Gay Pride Day and gay events like drag queen story hour are proliferating all over the country but at the same time our community is under attack in nearly every state. We are lucky to live in California whose state legislature is not at the moment promoting anti-gay bills (although we have fought against many in the past). But even in Sonoma County and around the liberal San Francisco Bay Area, protesters show up at public libraries and school boards with the aim of censoring books and queer programming. Here in Sonoma County the counterprotesters are vigilant and nonviolent. No events have been shut down by the book burners yet.

Not a Virgin Anymore

June has been a mixed bag this year. In between occasional sunny breakthroughs, Santa Rosa has been experiencing what Santa Barbarans call June Gloom. My wife Holly’s weather guru, Daniel Swain (https://weatherwest.com), predicts hotter-than-ever summer days after the gloom subsides. 

At the spring equinox I opined that the wet cold winter had become suddenly summer. Wrong! Summer lasted just a weekend before the weather turned cool again. I had performed a spring ceremony, kissing my winter gloves and putting them away for the season, but I soon pulled them back out. Now I’m putting them away again. Ok I’ll kiss them again. Our ceremonies and rituals can be repeated as often as we want.

Flags are big during Gay Month. We hung the gay flag on June 1, a ritual repeated every year.

Then Holly and I both got covid, thankfully at the same time so we could isolate together. She brought it home from her mother’s assisted living place. We each took a five-day course of Paxlovid. I’m pretty sure it reduced the severity of our symptoms and now we’ve tested negative. We didn’t practice many rituals while we were sick, unless you count lying in bed all day watching Mrs. Maisel. 

Now I’m back to hiking! I’ve resurrected my daily morning ritual of preparing for the hike—donning boots and hat, filling my water bottle, making a snack, checking the fanny pack. Keys, wallet, phone and bandana felt for in pockets. And I’m off to walk in nature, my favorite pastime.

Have a delightful Summer Solstice and a fabulous Gay Pride Day!

Queers and Allies Stand Up to Bullies

Sonoma County Libraries Under Attack

Education Initiatives Librarian Rachel Icaza (she/her/hers) speaks about partnering with schools at the Sonoma County Library Commission meeting

As LGBTQ people and their families in states like Florida pack their bags to move to nondiscriminatory states like California, those of us who live in the Golden State brace ourselves for an onslaught of anti-queer violence during gay month. Yes, we’re worried about becoming targets of violence, but that hasn’t meant that we’ve gone back into our closets. Gay celebrations here in Sonoma County have been more robust than ever.

On June 3, Santa Rosa hosted its biggest Sonoma County gay pride march ever. This year the haters didn’t show up, but they have been targeting our libraries and drag queen (and drag king!) story hours.

Sonoma county has a large organized gay community and our presence has had an impact on the culture here. The library is a fine example of a community institution successfully reaching out to all its patrons, including queers.

With 13 branches around our far-flung mostly rural county, the library system, in their words, “…makes an effort to be inclusive of all the different ethnic and identity groups in our communities. Programming has included drag story hours, LGBTQI teen groups and activities, Here+Queer the Sonoma County LGBTQI Archives.”

After a recent library commission meeting where vocal detractors made public comments, displayed signs, and stated that they intend to protest queer programming, the library let supporters know how we could help. They made it clear that if we wished to counter-demonstrate, we must practice nonviolence. They also suggested we could write letters to the commission. Here is what I wrote:

Dear Sonoma County Library Commission,

I’m writing to thank you for including queer books and queer programming at our Sonoma County libraries. I see books by and about LGBTQ people prominently displayed, including my own book with queer content, Wonder Woman Electric to the Rescue. 

I’m a lesbian feminist who came of age in an era when books about lesbians and gays were exceedingly hard to find. Publishers and printers refused to print the books we wrote and so we started our own publishing and printing businesses. And we started our own bookstores because our libraries did not have our books.

I now use the library to check out audio books (thank you!), and so I no longer buy many books. But I had to buy Gender Queer by our own Sonoma county writer Maia Kobabe, the most banned book in the country today. I’m proud that my local library carries it.

Sincerely and Queerly,

Molly Martin

Queers and our allies are standing up to the bullies and book burners. A recent protest, originally organized by members of a private Facebook group called Sonoma County Parents Stand Up for Our Kids, ballooned when 130 counterprotesters arrived in support of Drag Story Hour. The local newspaper reported that, “Counterprotesters from Amor Para Todos, Petaluma Pride, Unitarian Universalists of Petaluma and others held signs and waved LGBTQ+ Pride flags peacefully next to five protesters from the Facebook group.” There was no threat of violence.

When asked how it felt to be in the midst of the national dialogue, Ray Holley, communications manager for Sonoma County Library said, “Democracy is messy and it’s complicated. And the free public library is such a good example of that. Libraries are for everyone. Not every book in the library is for every patron, but every patron is going to find a book in the library.ʺ

Now we have learned that the church that organized the anti-drag protests, Victory Outreach of Santa Rosa, has been granted $400,000 under the California State Nonprofit Security Grant Program, which “helps places of worship better defend themselves against violent attacks and hate crimes.” Another local grant recipient, Calvary Chapel The Rock, is also accused of anti-LGBTQ sentiments. 

Jason Newman, a Petaluma marriage and family therapist who is gay, says there is no justification for the state helping these churches, which he called hate groups. More deserving recipients of this state money might be the LGBTQ groups being attacked by these religious cults.

Feel the same? Want to let the State know? Here’s what I found online. The state office is the California Office of Emergency Services. This is the best email I found (I don’t think they want emails):  GMD@caloes.ca.gov

The phone number is 916-845-8510. I was able to leave a message.

How I Got My Book Published

I’m a writer not completely unfamiliar with the publishing process. I published a book in 1988 with a new edition in 1993. Hard Hatted Women: Life on the Job is an anthology of stories by and about women working in the construction trades and blue-collar jobs.

I had a publisher then, Seal Press, a woman-owned press that focused on women’s stories. Started in a Seattle garage, Seal Press came out of the Women’s Press Movement at a time when women, and especially lesbians, could not find printers who would print our words. Seal Press assigned me an excellent editor (every writer needs a great editor) and also a press person who got me interviewed by Jane Pauley on the Today Show. She organized a bare-bones  book tour in which I drove my CRX across the country and back, staying in the homes of women’s bookstore proprietors. I loved working with those brilliant women at Seal.

Oh how the publishing business has changed since then! Seal Press is now an imprint of Hachette, a big publishing house in New York, still with a feminist focus. But I didn’t even send them a proposal for my latest book, Wonder Woman Electric to the Rescue. My book is a collection of essays, fiction and memoir and I know publishers prefer manuscripts that stick to one genre. Finding a niche publisher just seemed like an overwhelming challenge and I didn’t feel like writing proposals and waiting for rejection letters. Also, I know that even if I was lucky enough to find a publisher, they’d be unlikely to do much to promote my book. 

Nowadays there are lots of “self” publishers to choose from, but I was lucky to employ a friend, Chris Carlsson, who has self-published a stack of books. Chris directs Shaping San Francisco (www.shapingsf.org), a project dedicated to the public sharing of lost, forgotten, overlooked, and suppressed histories of San Francisco and the Bay Area. The project hosts a digital archive (where many of my writings appear) at foundsf.org. The proceeds from my book will go to this project. 

Once I had assembled the manuscript, I asked around and found a proofreader through a writer friend. I didn’t hire an editor, but most of the stories in my book have been published elsewhere and have been reviewed by my writers groups.

The motto of Redwood Writers, my local branch of the California Writers Club, is “writers helping writers,” and they take their mission seriously. I read a story in one of their salons and I learned about promotion in one of their workshops. I hired that workshop leader to set up a website for me and to design the book cover. 

I’ve been calling Chris my publisher because he is the connection to Amazon. He uses Kindle Direct Publishing (Amazon). He lays out the book with Indesign and uses Photoshop for photos. Then he just follows Amazon’s directions. He found it difficult to engage with Amazon when he needed them to correct a mistake in the title, which would have made it impossible to search for the book by title. It took him many days to get hold of a live person to talk to. It seems the publishing department is run by robots.

My book is published but you can’t order it from your local bookstore. If you want the actual book, you must order it from Amazon, although you can access the digital version for free with Kindleunlimited (owned by Amazon).

Now I’m promoting my own book, something my publisher would have seen as their job in the old days. But there’ll be no more driving across the country for me. My book launch parties will be zooms that can gather readers across the country (and the world). Technology has revolutionized the publishing industry, and I’m still not sure what I think about that.

Here’s the link for the book: